My three favorite movies:

1. Saw
2. Saw III
3. SawII

Perhaps you don’t understand what all the hubbub is about. The truth is, if you don’t, I’m just not sure we can be friends any longer. Today has been a long day, and being such, I am considering going home, and viewing some ultraviolent entertainment to ease the pain, and relieve the headache. When in such a mood, I choose Saw. Which film? That really depends on my mood, but regardless of my choice, I am always satisfied. You see, history has shown that violence is the best and most effective way to reduce stress. Now you are probably wondering, “When did history ever show that?” I am not prepared to provide examples, but take my word for it; violence is the original holistic healer.

I love the Saw series. If I love it so much, why don’t I marry it? Truth be told, if I could, I would.

That being said, I would like to make all those out there in internet land who do not know or appreciate the Saw series, aware of the new title releasing October 26th, 2007. Saw IV is nearly here, and I could not be more thrilled. This is me being thrilled, right here, right now. This year promises to explain the origin of Jigsaw, while not taking any cheap shots as so popular with previous horror franchises seeing multiple sequels. Jigsaw is dead. Amanda is dead. They are not coming back. This film will not be a prequel. This film will not be a sequel, and knowing the authors of Saw, I know they will drench this film with every bit of integrity they can muster. I mean, just look at the poster for the movie (yes that is the picture at the top of this post). That is the best movie poster I have ever seen, hands down. Have I gotten you excited yet? If not, read the following synopsis.

Jigsaw (Tobin Bell) and his apprentice Amanda (Shawnee Smith) are dead. Upon the news of Detective Kerry (Dina Meyer)’s murder, two seasoned FBI profilers, Agent Strahm (Scott Patterson) and Agent Perez (Athena Karkanis), arrive at the depleted police precinct and help veteran Detective Hoffman (Costas Mandylor) sift through Jigsaw’s latest grisly game of victims and piece together the puzzle. However, when SWAT Commander Rigg (Lyriq Bent), the last officer untouched by Jigsaw, is suddenly abducted and thrust into the madman’s harrowing game, the officer has but ninety minutes to overcome a series of interconnected traps… or face the deadly consequences. Rigg’s citywide pursuit leaves a wake of dead bodies, and Detective Hoffman and the FBI uncover long hidden clues that lead them back to Jigsaw’s ex-wife Jill (Betsy Russell). The genesis of Jigsaw’s evil is unveiled, exposing the puppet master’s true intentions and the sinister plan for his past, present and future victims.

Did that not do the trick either? Check out this first released clip from the film depicting a particularly gruesome scene. For all those children out there, please view with discretion. Perhaps ask your parents. Maybe to be safe, don’t view at all. This clip is certainly not PG.

I have always loved documentaries. Some people consider them boring, however I have always had a lust for knowledge; that lust being temporarily satisfied by indulging in such forms of entertainment. I have always loved video games. I’ve always had a lust for entertainment which gaming satisfies. This movie, The King of Kong, satisfied both desires.

A documentary involving the world Donky Kong champion, Billy Mitchell, and the underdog attempting to beat Mitchell’s high score, Steve Wiebe; a simple premise. For those familiar with video games, or the lifestyles surrounding serious gamers, this film provides a form of justification, trying to explain to non-games why we do what we do. To non-gamers, the film facilitates a fun and humorous look at the gaming community. The best part about this film is both the sincerity in the content, and the fact that it manages to entertain both gamers and non-gamers alike.

Overall a great movie that everyone should see.

This movie rocked my poor socks right off. I had to go by several new pairs after viewing this excellent film. I have always found the idea of serial killers fascinating. What makes them do what they do, and what leads them to leave patterns which always eventually links each of their murders to their others, and in the end is the cause of their capture?

Spoiler – The Zodiac killer is never caught. This is no surprise to those of you who either follow serial killers, or who are well versed in times past such as the late 60′s and early 70′s during which the majority of this film takes place.

The movie accurately follows a staff of reporters, one of them being a comic book artist, and several detectives, all searching for an answer to the question: Who is the Zodiac killer? Near the beginning of a movie, we see the murder of 2 persons while in their car. After the crime has been committed, the local police receive a call from a man who admits to being the killer, and at the same time also confesses to killing 2 others during the last holiday season. Days later 3 local newspapers each receive a cypher, which according to the letter included, contains the identity to Zodiac Killer. The letter demands that the newspapers each print the cyphers on their front page, or that he, the Zodiac Killer, would go on a killing spree.

That’s all I am going to share on the story. Go see the movie for the rest. I give it two thumbs up, three Tums antacid tablets, a hearty helping of gravy, and a broken guitar string. Indulge. Enjoy.

To begin, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was actually a fun movie. I was a bit surprised. Not to say I had anything against the other movies in the series, but let us be honest. The Harry Potter series does not exactly exhibit the best literature the world has to offer, and taking that into consideration, my expectations were at a medium level. The movie was fast paced enough to hold my attention and continued to keep me entertained. That is all I would like to say on the actual quality of the movie. The rest, is the audience who I had to endure while trying to enjoy a movie with my family.

The first rule of attending a mass viewing of a movie (several weeks after its release I might add) is to keep any opinions, exclamations, and other emotions which might distract others from the film, in your head. I realize that you are not overly intelligent. It can be difficult to keep such things to yourself, and of all places in your head, but this is imperative. For the next 1.5 -3 hours, you are nothing but a robot, taking in information, and leaving all thought aside. I repetitively heard things such as, “She is so crazy!” and “Ya!” followed by an overly enthusiastic clap. “She is so crazy! Just look at her!” Yes. We know. You already said that. We understand. Don’t you think it is sad I can hear you several rows over? Are you unfamiliar with movie theater etiquette? You have obviously read the book. Why are you surprised about the unfolding events of the movie?

The second rule of viewing a movie in a theater is to keep yourself in your seat. Some lunatic little kid continually stumbled over my family, exiting the row on the opposite side of his seat rather than exiting only a few seats over. What is going through his head? Anyways, I don’t explain them, I just point them out.

The next film I would like to comment on is Perfect Stranger starring Bruce Willis and Halle Berry. This was a fun little movie delving into the prevalent world of sexual harassment, affairs, and murder within large companies. After initially viewing this, my impressions were quite positive. I found an engaging and twisted story which are typically my stories of choice. Of course, being a thriller, there is that twist ending we all count on in order to keep us guessing until the end. This, as so many thrillers before it, was no different, and the ending caught my off guard. Way off. Upon analyzing this a little closer, I realized there was a reason I didn’t see this surprise ending coming. It was because this movie didn’t play fairly! There is no way anyone could ever get the ending without either a lucky guess, or someone telling them the ending, and to me, that is a treacherous way to play this game. The fun in a thriller is allowing yourself or your audience, if they catch on and look at the subtle clues, to be able to catch the twist before it was presented and explained. Knowing the clues were in front of you the entire time and being shown how they fit together is what makes a thriller a thriller, but whether this be due to laziness, or a desire to cheat the viewer, Perfect Stranger does not do this. That large gripe aside, the movie was fun, and I recommend this to anyone looking for a sadistic fix.

I recently went and partook of the geek-a-licous movie titled: Transformers. First I would like to comment on one of the previews shown, in which no title was given, no date released, and nothing other than a few dramatic clips of what appears to be something crashing into earth coupled with mass hysteria. Obviously this was to increase the suspense until more of the trailer is released, however I have to say, this was something that I can only describe using the phrase: sexual frustration. The entire theater seemed annoyed with the entire idea. You can’t just show a preview and not release the title of the movie! Anyways, on to the the impressions of the movie itself, rather than the previews preceding the film.

I enjoyed the movie. It was a lot of fun, but there was something, not quite right. This was only a movie in disguise, much like the robots starring in the film were in disguise. In reality, this was a commercial lasting for 2 hours and 24 minutes. If you would prefer not to read spoilers, then you may not want to continue, however what I am about to write just might change your desire to view this film. After watching Transformers, I felt the need to purchase such products as GM, Chevy, Pontiac, Mountain Dew, Pepsi, Nokia phones, HP laptops, an Xbox 360, and some Hostess Ding Dongs. Why is that? In addition of having every single transformer bearing the crest of their respective manufacturer, and other various product placements, you will literally see a Pepsi Machine, Xbox 360, and Nokia phone ‘transform’. To me this created an inexcusable distraction from the rest of the film. I paid to see this movie, so why should I be beaten with ads from every angle, even so much as to transform everyday products into killer machines? I used the word once, and I’ll use it again: distraction.

My second gripe comes from the way the action was shot. Without fail, the camera would be in the face of the members involved in a fight or chase, so much, that you really could not tell what was going on. The whole time I thought, “He looks frightened, or determined, or (insert emotion here), rather than thinking, “This action kicks!” It was frustrating in that you wanted to know what was going on. You wanted to keep track of the action, but in an attempt to be more dramatic or personal, you lost a lot of coherence in the film.

Now this may all seem overly negative to you, but this movie was a lot of fun, I just thought I would do you the service of explaining my exact gripes. Other than those 2 mentioned, and the length ( I know this movie is 2 hours and 24 minutes, but they must have put a time machine in the theater, because this thing was at least 12 hours long), I am sure most not looking for a film containing an important topic or point will more than enjoy the comedy and action found within.

I love Christina Ricci. I’m not just saying that. If I knew her in real life, I would totally be friends with her. So as a friend should, I thought I would do her a favor and view her latest film, Black Snake Moan. Looking at the included Black Snake Moan movie poster, you might just guess that this film was a little strange, but then you would be wrong. This film is so crazy, it blew my mind! *kaboom* The film revolves around the morally ‘loose’ Ricci character who, after a drug trip and some other unfortunate and immoral events, passes out in the middle of the road. Jackson, who just had his wife leave him for his brother, was traveling the road, and stumbled upon a not so clothed Ricci. He took her home where he treated her for a severe fever. She continually became restless at night due to hallucinations onset by her fever, at which point he became tired of tracking her down. At this time he came up with the clever idea of chaining her up to the radiator so that she could no longer leave, and to force her to change her life for the better. That is the basic plot of Black Snake Moan. Again, very strange, but I enjoyed it. If you consider viewing this, please keep in mind that Black Snake Moan comes with a strong R rating, likely because Justin Timberlake’s name was so close to Ricci’s name on the movie poster, and perhaps also because of a huge amount of immoral and drug related content. I will mention that this story does have a happy ending for both of the main characters, and even Timberlake’s character. All in all, Black Snake Moan is a bizarre view into southern culture, the morally wayward, and religiously fanatical.