What is this a picture of? Garbage, trash, or waste. Call it what you will. Trash is good for many things. We can recycle its contents, use the organic matter for mulch, and even use it as a home if you’re living on Sesame Street. Trash can be a great and inevitable byproduct of our society, however there is one thing we DO NOT do with trash. That is to consume anything within that can. Discarded food is not an acceptable meal.

Perhaps I should provide a little information as to why I seem to be so against this hopefully obvious social suicide. Last night was wild! I was at work, and a couple co workers and I decided that we would live it up a bit, and order the cheapest pizza in the area. The best part about this cheap pizza, was the ability to add toppings for no additional price. Being the manipulative person I am, I of course always order all toppings, which oddly enough includes both pineapple and jalapeños. Yummy to me, but most people wouldn’t order this particular combination.

After all was said and done, we did not finish all the pizza we ordered. We had 2 boxes, one with my special combination holding 2 remaining pieces. I placed these in my personal garbage can, and left for the evening. Roll ahead 16 hours to the beginning of my next work shift. The pizza boxes were becoming an eye sore, and so I decided to take them to a larger garbage can in the break room. I deposited the boxes, and noticed that the company’s new technicians in training were in the break room. Not wanting to make new friends as I am a little reclusive, I quickly left without making eye contact with any of them. About 5 minutes later, I entered the break room once more with the intention of filling my water bottle. As I passed the entrance, I noticed that one of the new technicians had 2 pieces of pizza on a plate ready for consumption. This normally would not be a problem; after all, we are nerds, and we eat a lot of pizza, however this was no ordinary pizza. This was my special mix. Something that most people don’t ever think of eating. I checked the trash can. The pizza box I had deposited only minutes before had been opened, and its contents removed. This technician was eating out of the trash! How foul. How wrong. How sinful. This sort of thing isn’t supposed to occur anywhere other than sit coms such as Seinfeld. My new co worker pulled a George Costanza, and he didn’t even wait for the room to clear out. He shamelessly and excitedly rummaged through the trash; my trash, to eat food which had been sitting in another garbage can for the past 16 hours. Disgusting. Unforgivable.