The Sparkling Wiggles

I have played a decent amount of Heroes of Newerth. I have played even more League of Legends. While I have experienced some of the most exciting moments in my gaming career playing these two time-sinks, I find that more often than not I am actually quite miserable. It’s not because the game itself is bad, It’s because the MOBA community itself contains some of the most jaded, angry, rude, and egotistical bastards that have ever walked the Earth. Games of HoN/LoL/DoTA can get downright hostile, and its the only game i can think of where you are more likely to be verbally abused by your own teammates than  your opponents.

In addition to a really high learning curve, the belittlement that new players are subjected to is more often than not what causes a novice to not want to hop in queue for a second match. Statistics have shown that the ones who are lucky enough to escape the incessant harrassment that occurs during the first fifty matches of their MOBA of choice, are 90% more likely to become giant jerks.

In order to help curb this, I have decided to create some commandments that we all should follow.  The aim is to both  correct bad play habits of newer players, and to end this false sense of superiority that all of us MOBA vets have experienced from time to time.

Enjoy!

Thou shalt have no other things before game

Seriously, If you are about to eat dinner, leaving the country in 15 minutes, or dying on your hospice bed, don’t start up a match. Nothing is worse than the traditional “HEY GUYS SORRY I GOTTA GO MY HERPES ARE FLARING UP” that you will undoubtedly experience any time you sit down to play one of these games. It is annoying, and we all hate it.

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven errors

We’ve all seen it before, the bonehead move that is permanently engraved on the face of a match; The one dumb thing that we did that made the battle fall just out of reach.  Next time you think its OK to Baron/Roshan/Kong when the whole enemy team is MIA, remember that its a terribly stupid idea, and don’t do it.

Thou shalt not insult others in vain

Don’t be a poor sport when you are losing. Don’t be an ass when winning. There’s a distinct difference between simple trash talk and utter douchbaggery, and in case you can’t tell the difference, I present to you an example of both:

“Hah! you missed me by a mile!” – a simple poke at someones inability to hit you with a skill shot, it gets it’s point across well, and doesn’t sound overly condescending

“DUDE YOU F@*&ING SUCK AT SKILL SHOTS GO DIE IN A FIRE YOU [insert racial slur here]!!!!!!!!!!” – pointless garbage, its obviously rude and loses any effective insult weight because 1) You just proved you are one of “those guys”, and the likelihood of you getting muted just shot up ten-fold, and 2) You used the wrong racial slur and just sound completely uneducated. 

It’s fairly simple. Do the former. Avoid the latter. Everyone wins.

Just to recap, you have already learned to not start a game when you don’t have enough time to finish, don’t make imbecilic game changing decisions, and don’t needlessly insult others. If everyone would just follow those three at a minimum, I GUARANTEE that the MOBA genre would be a much better place

Tune in next time for a continuation of the list.

the sparkling wiggles – the best place for Technology related articles

The lore of the Elder Scrolls games has always been impressive. From the disappearance of the dwarves to the corruption of the snow elves, Bethesda has done a wonderful job of weaving together a lush history that rivals that of any other fantasy setting. This leads in to one of my biggest gripes about Skyrim.

If you aren’t one to read companion books that accompany the newest Bethesda releases, then the events after the end of the Third Era are left largely unknown to you. To fix that, user redphoenix over at gamefaqs has written up a wonderful summary of the events leading up to the current situation in Skyrim. In his opening sentences, he perfectly summarized exactly what i was thinking:

The game references many very important events that the player is never allowed to ask about or learn more about via dialog. We’re tossed into the game with no knowledge of current international events, yet are expected to understand local politics are part of the main quest? Impossible.

To fully understand the civil war in Skyrim, it is absolutely necessary to understand the what, exactly, has transpired in the 200 years since the last gates to Oblivion were closed. When we last left Tamriel, the continent was at peace: fully united, as it always had been, by the Septim Empire with its capital in the Cyrodiil Imperial city. But in Skyrim, Tamriel is a much different place.

His post hits on a little bit of everything: The creation of the Aldmeri Dominion, The split of Hammerfell, The mass exodus of the Dark Elves, and the decline of the empire.

The most impressive thing to note is the amount of time her spent scouring over in-game lore to discover the truth of what happened. There’s no way I could do it. I started out reading every book I came across, but eventually that ended, and soon i was only opening books to see what kind of stat bonus they might hold inside.

You can read his full write-up here

stay tuned for more of the best technology rekated articles

Hello Internet. My name is Torren, and I have been recently brought on by Jason to contribute to this blog. My main area of focus will be video games from every generation, and movies, more specifically those of the foreign variety. If these two categories interest you, I can guarantee we’ll be the best of friends.

It’s been a while since Jason has posted any new new information on the sparkling wiggles, and hopefully soon he will return back to the site on a golden horse, waving a conquering banner, driving to return our humble little corner of the web to its former greatness. Until then, I’ll do what I can to make this place suitable for his glorious second coming. Thanks for reading, and stay tuned to the sparkling wiggles, the best place for relevant technology related articles

Well, here it is, the latest from me on The Goozex Report.

Check it out: http://thegoozexreport.blogspot.com/2010/01/what-is-it-about-achievements.html

You remember Goozex right? If not, read up on them on one of my previous posts at this link. Well, great news, I’ve been brought on as an associate writer for their member-run blog The Goozex Report. I’m very excited to be an even bigger part of their community, and wanted to share my first article with you. Give it a spin here, and let me know what you think.

Thanks everyone!

I’m proud and excited to announce my new pet project at http://the.gmailfilter.com. This is something I’ve setup in order to provide our web community with a more effective and powerful filter to use in conjunction with Gmail. To quote the site:

My philosophy is this: if I get a message that is obviously spam, I’d like the message to be sent to trash, and to be automatically forwarded to a spam reporting agency. I’m sick of sifting through the spam folder looking for legitimate emails. I’d prefer to use this folder as a intermediate between the inbox and trash folder, so, I’ve compiled a list of the most common words used in spam, and created a filter to do just this. As I further refine the filter, I’ll post changes which you’ll then be able to download and import into Gmail.

I’ve tested this filter against over 14,000 emails currently in my Gmail account, and am proud to report that I had zero false positives. I use my email for both personal communications and work, so, you can be assured that this works as it should.

Go ahead and give it a visit. Test it out. See what you think.

Seeing that one of my last Marilyn Manson posts remains to be one of the most popular on the site, I figured I’d write a follow up.  So, the album is here and has been with us for just over a month. Reviews have been mixed, but generally favorable, and now that I’ve had enough time with the album that the intoxicating effects have worn off, I’m now ready to give my (hopefully) unbiased review.

Read the rest of this entry »

Care to see your favorite gaming consoles and peripherals with x-ray vision? Your wish has come true. Check the following link for one person’s flickr gallery. Very cool.

X-Ray Funnies – a set on Flickr.

G4 has again been named the official broadcaster of E3 2009, and with only a month to go until keynotes, I’m definitely excited. Let’s just hope I don’t relive the fiasco that was E3 2007 on the same network. See my rant for more information on that.

G4 promises to provide over 22 hours of content, including five keynotes, hands on demos, interviews, and Steve Wiebe with another one of his live Donkey Kong high score attempts. If you’re unfamiliar with Steve, then be sure to check out the documentary: The King of Kong. It’s a great film. Other than that, additional details on the broadcast can be found at the following link.

G4 Named Official Broadcaster Of E3 2009 – G4tv.com.

And for those of you who wanted to check out the review from IGN, here you are. Sadly, they reviewed the game higher than the actual film.

IGN: X-Men Origins: Wolverine — Uncaged Edition Review.